I'm not sure how many of you are current doctoral students, but if you are you'll most likely understand the new level of chaos, self-denial, and introspection of everything that I am living. Even if you're not a doctoral student, as a human you've most likely experienced times in your life where you've pushed yourself past any limit imaginable, and therefore should be able to relate as well (as a side note, if you have not pushed yourself that far- what are you waiting for?).
At times I wonder how I am going to survive and keep me in tact through this all. The beauty of it, as I see it anyhow, is that as a human I am a pretty creative agent. We all are, and with my new doctoral knowledge I could cite some really smart people that have proven this for us- pretty cool, huh :) ? But don't worry I won't. That's not the point of this paper. The point is this- I'm realizing that I've come up with some creative and powerful self-survival tactics and I need to share the most important one to date.
FRIENDS
FRIENDS
FRIENDS
FRIENDS
I have a few amazing friends. The kind that stand out above the rest. Truth be told, those of you who know me know that I am pretty social so I have a lot of amazing people in my life. They are crucial. But today I am telling you about my few stars that propel me forward, keep me real, and remind me every time I need reminding (even when I don't know I need it) that I am loved, I am strong and I can do this.
Let me tell you a few of the most amazing things.
(1) Care packages. I remember being a kid and seeing certain friends get care packages from their parents at school. It always made me feel warm and fuzzy for those kids. Now I am one of those kids. My dear, thank you. It tells me how special I am to you. It tells me how well you know the real me and that you love me just the same. It reminds me that you, my friend, are what keeps me going and you are what makes me work to stay connected to reality and not get too lost in my crazy critical mind. Thank you friend. I miss you!
(2) Real conversations and real fun, just when I need it. I have a few friends that don't ever let me forget who I am- all of me that is. There are only a few people in life that bless us with their whole selves, thereby allowing us to expose our whole selves. I am so lucky, my dear friends, to have you and to share me with you. You let me be neurotic. You remind me of my gifts. You let me into your lives, your heart, your soul, and that is an honor. You make me have fun. You make me let go and remind me to take care of me by being there for me and with me when I need a release (you even help me remember that I need a release). Thank you friends. You keep me sane, loved and supported. Who can ask for anything more?
(3) An open, critical and honest ear. I have friends that listen. They listen really good and respond in true ways. Not the kind of responses that are cliche or expected, but the kind that come from who they are. Those are real friends. I can look in the mirror and tell myself what I want to hear all day, but that's not helpful. I have people in my life, good friends (my hubby included) that debate with me when appropriate, agree with me when true, and spend hours editing my written and verbal work. Now those are good friends. If I ever get published or asked to speak (People keep telling me that being productive via publishing is the point of this all. I often beg to differ- maybe a future post topic.) it is only because of you all. My developing thoughts develop with each of you. Thank you friends.
So how do I survive the stressors of life as a mother, a wife, a friend, and a doctoral student? Friends. Really really really good friends: friends that are family and family that are friends.
To borrow words from the Beatles, "I get by with a little help from my friends." And in my case, I get by with A LOT of help from my friends. As a tribute to you my dear friends, thank you and I love you!
